i think that there is some sort of tropical storm brewing in my stomach

or maybe a tornado

or some sort of odd electromagnetic thing a la star trek

it'll have a really deep voice and shoot out electric shocks at the expendable characters.

i wish that i could make some sort of logical sense of what is up with my mind

it
needs
toshutthefuckup

exclamation point.

i'm in one of those "i should cut off contact with every single person i know and move to a small hamlet in the south of france" moods again

make wine

have all the villagers wonder who i am but i won't no i won't tell them

i'll never really tell them

and even if i do tell them whatever i tell them will be a lie.

they'll wonder whats the deal with that guy with the horribly accented french who runs along the river every morning and writes all day.

except they'll wonder it in french.

if i tell myslef not to think than maybe i won't and if i tell myself to be better than maybe i will and maybe i can beat myself into submission and maybe i can make something out of myself and maybe i can prove them wrong, no fuck that i can prove them wrong and will prove them wrong because i have to because if i don't they win and no fucking way am i letting them beat me in this.

end

quote.

i can play the tambourine and you can play the harmonica

we'll steal a chimp from the zoo

he can be our dancing monkey

our dancing monkey

cause really, inevitably we're all someone's monkey sometime

cause really, inevitably, i'll probably dance for you at some point

but when we dance can etta james be playing in the background

and can there be rain and grey skies

and later on can i sit and play you something

something

anything

it'll be especially for you

your

ears

only

cause there are raindrops in my eyes and i'd very much like to see you

i think we should move to memphis

i think we should learn to play the blues

i would very much like to lay down on the cement and wait for the earth to smell like rain again

i would very much like to lay down and feel

feel

feel

that

inexplicably

just that.

they should write a book about me

or at least a graphic novel

the sun is shining and i actually get another day with you

life is swell.