my day at work consisted of the following: playing drama games. makign an ass out of myself in front of children. drinking coffee. making fun of children. eating lunch. going to the mall. getting my head/back scratched. giving various head scratches/playing with hair. sleeping. laughing. best......job......ever. now i'm gonna go out and smoke croatian cigarette, cause thats what hot european girl brought back for me as a present from her trip to croatia.

i think that it would work better if i could just open up my head and let her walk in. i think that if i could properly put into words what it is that i'm thinking, and if i could actually say what it is that i think, something could happen. i think that if i could possibly shed this utterly clumsy self of mine, i think that if i could really be completely bare and show her what it is that makes me tick....yeah........

do you ever feel like your kinda trapped inside your head? like, if you could just say excactly what it is that you thought and feel, say it true and clear without any regret or worry of what would come of it, then it could be......you could be......we could be. that sorta thing.


on a completely different and completely less emo note, my body is completely dead right now based on the fact that it's done like, 4 performances of west side story in 3 days as well as the fact that it's all partyed out from the cast party. goddammit. my brain is in such a haze right now. thats probably why nothing i'm writing makes any sense right now. whatever, its your fault for reading it.

i need a change. i can't think so much anymore. let me rephrase that. i can't be so concerned about things anymore. i need to act. to just do something. anything. to do something i stop myself from doing because theres a possibility it may not go so well. i can't do that anymore. i just have to act.