it's a somewhat sobering thought to think that you have lost all that is you or all that it is that you thought you were. theres a girl at work who's pretty cute but every time i talk to her i make a complete ass out of myself. it's pathetic. i should be neutered so my seed can't spread further. haha. le sigh.

seriously though, everything that i say to her is dumb. everything. not a single thing is intelligent or interesting in any way shape or form.

i feel like i'm slipping from something. like, i'm falling from somewhere i used to be.

according to something corporate, the present is just a pleasant interruption from the past.

i want to feel at home in my own skin again.

i want to feel self confident

i want to feel lurrrrrved.

but i think we all need to feel lurved.

get my meaning

?

maybe someday?

goddammit i hope so

i'm gonna eat dinner

i haven't eaten since lunch.

at work

at camp

where there are tons of children with tons of hopes

and dreams

kinda a nice thought for a monday night

i believe that there are many things beyond my comprehension

i beleive in astronauts

i belive in the erstwhile american dream

i belive in my family

i believe in my friends

i believe in a love that will take me over

i believe in kerouac

i believe that darkness holds as much possibilities as light

i believe in freedom

i believe in aliens

i believe in heaven

i believe that i will die

i believe that when that happens, the world will continue spinning

i believe in gravity

i believe in her, despite the fact i shouldn't

i believe in another her, despite the fact that prior experience tells me not to

i believe in red brick houses and green grass and a blue sky with birds singing

i believe in the future

i believe in in humans innate tendency to love and create

i believe that we have grown complacent

i believe we can stop that

i believe that we can stand again

i believe we will stand again

i believe in nights spent staring at the stars while lying on a blanket with her

i believe that could be a good date

i believe that we can fly

i believe we will fly

one way or another

today at work i hung the indian flag upside down by accident. this shit has international incident written allllllllllllllllllllll over it. worst of all, it was at the ms. india pageant. yeah......shit.