do you notice that theres a different feeling to the ring of a phone when you know its going to be answered. like, when a phone is going to be answered that ring is full of hope and dreams and is going to amount to something. it's going to get you out for the night or fix a hole in your heart or get something done. it has endless possibilities. theres nothing that can't happen. but when you know it's not going to be answered it's another feeling entirely. it's emptier and lonlier and somewhat pathetic sounding. it sounds thinner, emaciated. it's got nothing to it. it's wasting your time and mocking you for even considering it. it's like telephone roulette, and more often than not with this girl i know, it's the latter. generally the phone rings and rings and mocks and mocks because this is a girl that will not be taken. this is a girl that will not be yours again. past is past and past is done. and it leaves me feeling odd. so....i write.

when i die, make sure that it says in my eulogy that i rocked out as hard as possible and was super de duper cute

i feel like someone took out my brain, wrapped it in felt and put it back in my head. ugh. canada day was extremely enjoyable. we saw the hip at the molson amphitheatre in good old toronto. they rocked my proverbial socks with their own special brand of canadian rock out hard-yet stay somewhat folky-with lyrics that sooth my cerebellum-muzak. it twisted and it turned and gord downey had to be high because he was arguing with his microphone, but thats cool man, cause it's the tragically hip. everyone knows microphones arent poisonous. then we missioned into parkdale, which was interesting. we went to big slice, the most gloriously greasy pizza in the downtown core of toronto. skye, matty and i sat and ate and then subwayed to kipling where we were picked up from le station. this would be way more interesting, but i'm super fucking burnt out right now. dammit. im going to sleep.

i went on the best non date ever with a beautiful girl who's extremely intelligent and politically aware and eastern european, so the package is complete. i was bored at home talking to said girl on msn, and she tells me she's going to watch bridget jones' diary. i tell her i've never seen it. apparently thats a crime in her books, so she invites me over and we watch british humour while drinking tea and being increbibly content with the lovely company. the movie ended and i decided that i want to grow hugh grant hair, but i'm scared that if i did i'd look like a flaming homosexual, and not one of the really fashion conscious ones.

i then ask her whats she's doing tonight, and suggest we go see fahrenheit 9/11. she agreed cause i was gonna drive, and she enjoys my company. so i picked her up at quarter to 8 when i was supposed to pick her up at half past 7, but i'm late, always, just ask the posse. it's like a trademark of mine. so we drive down to amc, which looks like an amusment park, while listning to interpol and just generally grooving with the wind in our hair. we passed by a german heritage museum, but since they subjugated both the polish and the austrian, my ancestry wouldn't let me go in.

so we get to the theatre, and i see a parking space. but so does a guy in a minivan. he graciously gives me the space, which i try to park in and fail, because i seriously can't park for shit. so i go get another space. we ran into minivan guy on the way to the theatre and had a chat with them. by the end of it i really wanted to be friends with both him and his girlfriend. gorgeous european suggested we ask if their swingers. goddammit i love that girl.

upon entrance to the theatre, we see that it's sold out. tears of sadness start to flow, but gorgeous european suggest we go to silver city, buy tickets for the 10:20 show, and chill out at indigo until the movie starts. so we hop back in my car, but gorgeous european girl walks over to a different car and stands by it. when i asked what she was doing she said "waiting to get in". i then pointed to my car, the one i was standing beside, and she sheepishly walked back. i found it endearing.

so we drove back listening to interpol, sun on our faces and the windows down and she looked like somehting out of a magazine and my hair was all ruffled and boyish and we drove and drove and drove until we got to our destination.. we bought our tickets and walked arm in arm to indigo, where we both hit on the cute girl who works at the cafe. i drank lapsang souchong tea. which tastes like campfire. she had a crazy tart thing, and some sort of tea that tasted like black licorice. and we sat and drank our tea and joked and talked about relationships and kissing and how we've both had a fantastic lack of kissing lately. and how we both want to have a really good kiss. a singular, awesome kiss. the kind of kiss where you forget to use your hands. the kind of kiss where afterwards your body is buzzing like you've just been electrocuted because for all intensive purposes, you have. so we drank our tea and talked about love and then got up and looked at books. we saw all of the jack kerouac books that they had in stock and we stared in awe. this is the girl that introduced me to kerouac. this is the girl that lent me "on the road", which, in my opinion is one of the best books ever written. this is the girl who understood me when i told her about my realization about how everyone has a life and friends and is connected, how everyone is real, and because of that, there is no end to the stories that can be written. this girl is fucking amazing.

we finished looking around and ambled back to the theatre and waited in line. she quizzed me about her favourite movies, none of which i've seen, so she's going to take my "gone with the wind" and "french kiss" virginities. we got into the theatre and i went out to buy popcorn and iced tea. we shared the ice tea, but she wasn't into the popcorn, cause she had purple corn chips that they sell at indigo. then the movie started and we watched fahrenheit 9/11 and cuddled and held hands and cried because of the reality and sadness and brutality of it all. and how we've become so complacent as a people. how, if shit like this had happened 30 years ago, there would have been protests and people being thrown out of office and a fire in everyone's hearts. but that fire seems to be out right now and we cried because it should be all encompassing. she had her head on my shoulder and the movie ended and we were both sort of red in the eyes, but thats ok. we drove home listening to propaghandi and talking. i love talking to this girl, mainly because she has something to say, and its always smart. she doesn't say things that are dumb or inconsequential. she says things that require thought. and dreams. thats what i love about this girl, she dreams like i dream. big and loud and hard. a friend of hers said it, and i completely agree with his statement. she's technicolour. wizard of oz, first time ever, laughing at the beauty of it technicolour. to it's fullest extent. utterly lovely. and this girl has eyes. deep blue intelligent eyes. behind which things are going on, and you can see those things going on, but not well enough to gauge them. not well enough that they don't keep you on your toes, because she always keeps you on your toes. because theres always something going on behind those beautiful blues of hers so we drove home with the windows down for a while, but it got kinda cold so i rolled them up a bit. i dropped her off at home and walked her to her door and gave her a big hug. she complimented me on my hand holding skills. i told her i try to impress. she went in. i drove home listening to dashboard, because i'm still such an emo kid at heart. and i went to bed with a smile and woke up still wearing it. which is by far the best gift i think one can be given, so thanks danielle, for by far the best not-a-date that i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

caption this please

i had this dream last night where i was a circus clown. i had orange hair and a big demon smile and a big belly filled with jelly beans that i randomly threw at joyous children who all cheered. i got into a cannon, one of those big cartoonish cannons that they shoot people out of and they said that they were going to shoot me to the moon, but i didn't want to be shot into the moon. so they shot me directly to the conservative headquarters right beside stephen harper. he was mad cause it's a liberal minority government. and it turns out that he has coulrophobia, which is an irrational fear of clowns. so he soiled himself when my bad self crashed into the room. pussy. i was all "stephen, don't you think it's a little childish to be afraid of clowns". and he was all "mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy".



eventually he just spontaneously combusted, right then and there. apparently clowns can do that. so i took control of the conservative party, cause they work like vampires what with the killer of the leader takes control of the coven. yep. their not a party. their a coven. so, i took control of the conservative coven and i made changes and was all charismatic, but the people don't want to vote a clown into office, it's just not proper. so i quit the coven and i started a rock band because apparently you can be a clown and be in a band. so i was a clown lead singer and i had sex with lots of groupies and had like, 20 million illegitimate children and became a sex god clown rockstar with orange hair and like, gold chains. and bling. so much blinga blinga.

then i woke up.

i also dreamed i got some girl pregnant. which weirded me out. i've been having dreams like that lately. where something happens where i'm like "shit, fuck, cock ASS!" and then i wake up all movie-like and "it was only a dream".

not to sound preachy or anything, but if you vote conservative in todays election, in my humble opinion, you are a



to the extreme.

stephen harper loves this guy



do you love this guy?

would you like to go to war willy nilly



i don't.

so, do me a favour, when you go to the polls today, don't be a selfish cocksucker.

vote anything but conservative.

their bad, bad men.

and will probably fuck up our country.

thanks for listening to me rant.

take it with a grain of salt though. vote for what you believe in.

i myself, believe in a country where people have the right to choose who they marry and where women have the right to choose, and where we have free health care and where we don't go into stupid pointless wars.

but thats just me.

now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

have a little faith in me and in you and in us and in everything around us because every little thing is gonna be alright because you are beautiful no matter what they say. no matter what any of them say you are beautiful and talented and wonderful and can make your dreams come true so do it. make them look stupid. make them look foolish for ever doubting what you can do. set the world on fire. light a fire in your heart and spread it as fast and as far as possible. i want to be far reaching. i want to be enormous. massive. to make a difference. you can make a difference. i believe in you. when the road gets dark and you can no longer see, just let my love throw a spark and have a little faith in me. the people we love never leave us. no matter where we are in our lives they will stay with us. i'll always look over my shoulder when i smell vanilla. the people we love are always with us, no matter how hard we try to forget them. they scarred us. they loved us. we loved them. and they left us with beautiful, wonderful scars that we will always carry. but their not so bad. have faith in yourself. have faith in those around you. believe. for christs sake, never stop believing. please. don't every become so jaded that you don't see hope, because when you lose hope you'll lose everything. hope is what it is to be human. hope is what it is to feel. hope is what it is to be able to live with the thought of tomorrow. embrace tomorrow. because there are so many possibilities its fucking incredible. love hard. without doubts. without any preconceptions. without any expectations. love purely to love. to feel it. live for love and for tomorrow and believe. never stop believing. do what you wanted to do when you were five years old. tomorrow.

Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
YO
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
yo
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
sup
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
rob
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
did u know theres a new dashboard song
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
for the spiderman soundtrack
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
yes
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
shit
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
oh my god
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
its amazing
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
money in the fucking bank
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
i know
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
like, they sold me on their new album already
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
like, i'd kill for it rightnow
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
that album is so sick
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
did u see the entire track list
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
its killer
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
what, the spiderman soundtrak?
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
im impressed with peter parkers taste
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
nope
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
yah
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
whats on it
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
ill find it for you
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
what were you talking abot?
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
new dashboard album?
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
i meant dashboards new album

Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
what
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
they must have one soon
Funkmaster Robby K-friends don't waste wine when theres words to sell says:
they have to
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
get outta here, they just came out with one in december
Feel your balls, kids! Feel your balls for cancer! says:
if they come out with another one so soon ill suck all their cocks

i'm on break. a 3 hour break. based on the stupidity of the kingdom of bramptopia's upper echelons of power. whatever. tomorrow is voting time. do me a favour, vote anything but conservative. just for me. because goddddddddddddaaaaaaaaamn i hate those fascists.

i've been working for the past 8 days straight

tomorrow i get a day off. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

it's somewhat exciting when working for the man every night and day.

weakerthans-left and leaving. excellent song apparently matty picked up like, 100 dollars worth of a certain plant that i like. thats right.....ficus. and he's brining some of said ficus to the tragically hip concert that we're attending with his popstar girlfriend on canada day. goddammit i'm glad to be canadian.