not in the greatest place but thats ok. fucking basketcase crazy fucked up i need a joint but that could be part of the problem but could it be part of the answer? now we are the terminal cases.

see, what you guys don't understand is that i'm going to leave. soon. maybe not this year, maybe not next year, but soon. i'm going to leave, and i'm not going to be here anymore, now, you probably won't be here anymore either, so perhaps we'll just go out separate ways, but either way, i'm leaving. nothing against anyone, its just that i have to. i need to. i'm going to. and it's gonna be solitary, cause thats how actors generally are. i guess i'm just gearing up for that mentally. and i don't like it much. well. i do and i don't. i know that i'll go. i'll be poor for a while. then i'll do well, and it'll be dope and i'll have mad cash and shit and you'll all fly up to my penthouse and we'll throw killer parties with mountains of hydro and bongs bongs everywhere bongs. and it sure will be super. but work is required before that happens. and the work and the alone and the lonely is what scares me. fuck. i'm going for a run

i left the door unlocked. sunlight streamed through the window, catching random dust motes that lazily floated through them. i was in the shower. i heard something, probably her, but maybe not her. hopefully her though. i continued doing what i was doing. i heard footsetps padding down the hardwood floor in the hall. making their way to the bathroom. she walked in, wearing a short white sundress with big red flowers splashed haphazardly all over it. i poke my head out of the shower and say "hi there gorgeous." she looks up at me, big bluegreen notsoinnocent eyes, "you getting out of there soon, or am i gonna have to come get you?" i suggested that she come get me. she smiles, perfect white teeth between 2 perfect red lips. apple red, not cherry red. the kind of red you see on a tree when you go apple picking as a kid. that kind of perfect red that doesnt seem real it looks so nice. she slips the straps of the dress off her shoulders, and she has nice shoulders. creamy white shoulders, like the creamy white rest of her. she slips off the straps and undoes the buttons.....slowly. the dress falls into an ever-so elegant heap on the tile floor. she's standing there, wearing nothing but a pair of tangerine orange underwear. smiling at me. she walkes closer, shimmying out of them, and stands directly in front of me, all venus-like, like something out of a painting or a dream or my pre-pubescent fantasies when i was 11.

she stepped in. came close, kissed me, softly, like one of those kisses that is so soft you're not sure if it happens. so soft your not sure if she's actually still there. i pulled her even closer, and kissed her, and she kissed me back, and it's one of those great kisses. those kind of kisses that leave you paralyzed. the kind that make you forget what to do with your hands. her tongue flicked in and out of my mouth. i cupped her big but not too big, perfect big, just the right kind of big breasts, teased her nipple a little bit, took her one nipple into my mouth and played with it. she moans. i looked up, at her, her hair plastered down onto her head by the water in the shower, drops dripping down her face. she smiled a "what are you going to do next" sort of smile. i kissed between her breasts, up, between her collarbones, across her collarbones to her neck, up her neck to her ear. i kissed her lips again, and slowly moveed my hand between her legs. her breath quickens, and i teased her, rubbing her up and down, teasing her clit every once and a while, making her wonder, why, oh why am i such a jerk. she's getting wet, and not just because of the shower. i slid my fingers in, and she took in her breath sharply. i feel all around, inside her, and she starts to moan. i took them out and played with her some more, and i stopped. i turned the water off, and i picked her up. i took her to my room, onto my water bed, and put her down. i kissed her stomach, her belly button, her hips. she knows what i'm going to do. i kiss her, right there, and she moans. i lick her. teasing, once again. she plays with my hair. i play with her clit with my tongue as i slowly slid my fingers inside. she moaned, and pushed my face hard into her. and i obliged, licking her, slowly, then quicker, quicker, and slowly again. by looking inside her with my fingers and finding just the right spot. i lick her, and at the same time hit the spot with my fingers, rubbing it in circles, clockwise and counter. she moans, loud, and i continue what i'm doing, faster and faster, tasting her, feeling her, her feeling me work her. she's about to come, i could tell, so i sped up, faster and faster, grabbing her firm, beautiful bum with my free hand, she moaned, louder, louder and louder, and then she came. hard. her body spasmed, and then she just lay back in my bed. i kissed the inside of her smooth, white thigh, down to her ankles. i moved back up to her face and kissed her, softly, and she whispered "thanks". i said "any time". and i hold her for a while. then we both get dressed, we get in my car, and i drive her home, wind whipping her hair in every direction, jack johnson on my radio. i drove her home, dropped her at her door, and watched her walk away. then drove home myself. smiling.

i'm having one of those highschool-esque, melancholy, teenager retarded days. it sucks cock. it's one of those "you're mean and i hate you" days. ish. sort of. man, i feel like one of those fifteen year olds with a blog who's like "katie walked by me in the science hall today and didn't say hi. she obviously hates me". fuck. this is gay. i'm sorry i subjected you all to that.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck. i want to tell you stuff about my weekend and how fuckind retardedly messed up i got and how absolutely beauteous it was, but i'm not in the mood. i'm just pissed. ugh. i'm going to do something illegal, i'll talk to you later.

damn the man, save the empire

im just showing my cousin how to put up pictures. love me, because i'm being helpful. any payments/donations/weed can be sent to lord_of_the_platipi@hotmail.com. thank you

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